"Interested?"

"Interested?" That's what Craig Montierth asked me when we were in Carlsbad Beach, CA, oh my gosh, 22 years ago this summer. I thought he asked "Interesting?" and I answered in the affirmative. He then said, "So is he." I was floored, to say the least. He was asking me if I was interested in Bobby D. Then he told me that BOBBY WAS INTERESTED IN ME!!! I still find myself trying to figure that one out.

We just celebrated our 19th anniversary last week. THAT IS CRAZY! That's like such a long time, and man oh man so much has happened, and yet it doesn't seem possible that it has been that long.

He is the best husband to me and father to our kids that I ever, ever could have asked for. We decided a VERY long time ago, before we ever married, that we would not fight. We decided a long time ago that we would do our best to leave sarcasm out of our marriage. That was a little tough since sarcasm was a part of both of our upbringings.

He also promised me that he would never intentionally scare me. He's kept his promise. The only time or two he's ever scared me, it was a total and complete accident and he felt so bad for it. My dear dad had a fascination with scaring me and my mom and siblings while I was growing up and I was afraid Bobby might be the same way. He's not, thank goodness.

Early on in our marriage, when Bobby and I had a misunderstanding, rather than scream my head off at him (which I have never done ), I would clean. Clean like a mad woman. That's how Bobby knew we needed to talk. I've always been, and still am, afraid to hurt his feelings. I think he feels the same way. Not that it's a good idea to keep it all bottled up inside, that has it's ill effects too. I just have never wanted to hurt him.

When we were married and sealed in the temple, the sealer gave us some advice. One profound piece of advice he gave was to NEVER say anything hurtful to each other. He taught us that we can never take anything back that we've said. Words hurt like cuts in the skin. A cut will heal but may leave a scar. So will words . We may forgive the person, but the scar will always be there. We took that advice very seriously and have done our very best to live by that everyday.

We both feel so blessed to have 'found' each other at such young ages. Bobby was 18 and I was 16. I think for us, we grew up together in many ways and that worked to our advantage. But also, we made very conscious decisions to be kind and loving to each other very early in our relationship. To make each other our top priority. That's not easy all the time, especially when you have demanding, hungry, needy kids, jobs, church and civic duties. I consider us both to be very patient as well. Patience is a virtue, I hear. But also, patience is not something you ever master. It is a characteristic that we all have to constantly practice.

Bobby is my very best friend. I am so thankful for his love, patience and support. One of his qualities that I have always admired is the fact that he is so optimistic. He is and always has been so positive. This has been tried and tested over the last several years as we have faced adversity. He is a man of great integrity, one who honors his priesthood. I am extremely grateful for him.

I know that we are very blessed to have the relationship that we have. For many years I felt almost guilty that we have such a great relationship and wish that everyone had the same for themselves. I have been fortunate enough that my husband has chosen to treat me well in word and deed. I count my blessings everyday that he has made good choices and that he has remained faithful to me and the Gospel.

Bobby, I love you with all of my heart. I'm so sorry for the pain you have to endure everyday. Keep in mind, it's only this lifetime. You always make me feel so good about myself and because of you, I want to be the best person I can. Thank you for loving me.